In every woman’s journey, you’ll find every woman’s greatest fears and every woman’s hopes and dreams. One day may be a dream and the next day is riddled with fear. When a woman goes through a divorce, she experiences a traumatic event. A soul fracture occurs. The fear within her grows and she can feel broken. The emotional effects of this traumatic event can continue on for years after the divorce; for some a lifetime.
Having the courage and the strength to try and heal yourself is a huge undertaking, for any woman. When a woman works through her grief she learns to rise above the fear and the anguish experience by that soul fracture. She learns how to reprogram the patterned thinking that got her to where she is today. She can release the past and move forward.
Moving through an emotionally traumatic event is different for everyone. Yet we see that there are 3 stages that are typically felt:
The Nest Phase
You’re newly separated or in the early stages of divorce. You feel raw and overwhelmed. Unsettled details create a sense of being unmoored. Your life seems to come at you in light speed and you’re doing your best to take care of everything and everyone. This is the time when you need to take care of yourself, to nurture your broken heart, and heal within a supportive, loving community.
The Flight Phase
You’re mid-way through or you’ve just completed the divorce process and you’re just now beginning to see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. You may (or may not) have gotten through your separation agreement, figured out living arrangements, and divorce hearing, but you’re navigating your new way of being. Your days fly in a blur of activity and you may be left feeling utterly exhausted at the end of the day. Maybe you’ve jumped back into the dating pool, and feelings of lack and timidity may arise. You’re beginning to see that your divorce could be an opportunity to look at your life and grow into your best self. A vibrant community will encourage you and have your back as you leap from the nest and take flight.
The Soar Phase
Your divorce is behind you. Pieces of your life — and your heart — have been knit back together in a new, possibly more vibrant, pattern. Your broken heart is mending, yet you have a feeling there’s more to life and you want to figure out what that is. Dreams you’ve postponed now want to be realized. You’re looking for a tribe of like-minded people who have “been there, done that” and who will cheer you on as you soar to new heights.
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You cannot avoid suffering, but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. When pain and emotions, vs focused INTENTION, are undirected and unmanaged, they become the driving force in your life. You are not the woman you once were, this is a whole new beginning for you and I want you to take charge of that. I want you to lead with that feeling everyday. You are capable of wielding the pain of your divorce into your biggest strength.
The key is harnessing your pain/emotions and using them as a catalyst to creating an amazing life now. You are the trailblazer of your own life. And even though your life may be OK in many areas, the constant battle of emotions can rob you of your full potential and impact unless you learn to control them.